He Said, She Said
All is Fair in Love and Décor

Ahhh love…it is a beautiful thing. What could be more fun than building or decorating a home together?? Maybe, bamboo shoots under your fingernails. Before most couples say, “I do” they usually talk about important subjects like child-rearing, finances and chores around the house. But, somehow most forget that someone has to be in charge of making their love shack a home. Because Bob thinks we need a male perspective, he will be interjecting the “He Said” voice of reason.

How to conquer the great divide?
Everyone comes with baggage of the interior kind. He brings his collection of shot glasses and blow up Budweiser chairs and she brings her grandmother’s teapots and college dorm room furniture. We have ALL been there!!! Fast forward ten years and these lovely trinkets are still in the home. When you finally get to the point where you both are tired of your nest looking like the set from Animal House merged with the set from Sense and Sensibility – let the renovation rumpus begin!

BOB: Shot glasses can be great memories from college – they are also used to level a couch. The blow up chair makes a wonderful floatation device for kids… All that aside, I suggest three piles... Keep it, store it, or kick it to the curb. Some items can be updated with fresh paint or stain to make them work better in your current interior. Pack away the “I might want it someday” stuff and donate the “kick it to the curb” stuff. Someone’s trash is another’s treasure. There is probably a kid just starting out that would give your blow up chair the respect it deserves.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Where to begin?? Before you put all of his “cool” stuff on the curb and repaint the whole house while he is out of town, put a joint plan in place. Whether you’ve been a pair for two months or 20 years, finding the middle ground can be a challenge. I've helped many couples with this trying task (an interior designer is, after all, one-half relationship counselor). We know that in love, opposites often attract, so it’s not surprising that ‘opposite’ couples may be on a completely different design wave length. Whether choosing new furnishings or trying to figure out what somebody sees in a certain item, be aware of underlying emotions. You may trample his feelings if you trash his well-worn recliner or you may seriously offend her if you question her affection for roosters. Trying to respect each other’s style is vital in creating a harmonious love nest.
BOB: Guys, this is where you bring home flowers and a nice Pinot and let her know that you can’t thrive in a house that feels like a flower garden. Jami keeps trying to paint our bedroom violet and now the people at WineStyles know me by first name.
The Color of Money
The goal is to communicate and express your ideas and still be speaking when it’s done. The three main areas that can cause decorating duels are color, money and aesthetics.
Men usually favor a more neutral color palate (think Beige), while women can be a bit more daring. A good compromise is to go for the gusto with vibrant color in a few rooms to start. Your guy may eventually get comfortable with it and be hip to add more.
Bob: Men don't necessarily shy away from bold colors. They are a bit wary in picking a color which will likely mean they need a new couch and drapes to go with it (like violet).
Issues around money are often a hot spot in marriages and it’s no different when it comes to decorating. Couples will avoid problems if they are realistic in setting spending limits that both are comfortable with and work within them. It doesn’t take a million dollars to make your pad look like a million bucks. The homeowner’s perspective and style will change over time and the home should change with the times. Sometimes the costs of updating are just not on his radar.
Bob: Guys can have bargaining power here. Budgets are important especially when remodeling, but there are areas where compromises can be struck and cool electronic gadgets can be claimed as part of the package.
In terms of aesthetics, the office or entertainment room should be functional and comfortable for men – a straight shot for the remote. The kitchen and family rooms must have the flow and “wow” factor for entertaining for women. Guys tend to be very logical (when it comes to design). They choose a chair for comfort and like rooms with a more masculine feel. Women are interested in fabrics, texture and color -- “Is there enough seating for my girlfriends?” Most girls grew up with a Barbie dream house and it wasn’t beige.
BOB: I am still saying no to the violet. G.I Joe wouldn’t wear violet
When couples vow "for better or for worse," few foresee the fights over the frou frou drapes, the beer-can pyramids or whether or not to get a pool table. Love is a many splendid thing, unless you just can’t agree. The final frontier is to each pick your corner (decorate different rooms of the house). There is such a thing as an eclectic home. Like everything, living together and decorating together is really all about finding a way to compromise. It’s a journey; have fun with it and then you both can live Happily Ever After…in your fabulous violet room!!!

2007 Home Style article for Southlake Style Magazine by Cheap Thrills Décor, Bob & Jami Zimmerman

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